Some Answers - not really...

So, I've disclosed a little bit of my internal dilemma based around understanding the full nature of who God is.  There was a lot more that went on internally in the past few weeks in trying to understand this, and I still don't understand it all.  But this is the point that I came to a couple of weeks ago.  I came to the point that I could see it, like, I understood it and put it all together (sort of).

I could see God's love in displaying himself to humanity and the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms.  Basically, God is good.  No, that is an understatement, God is amazing.  And so, the most loving thing for him to do is to reveal himself to those outside himself.  God is also creative, so he makes things.  So God makes things and reveals himself to those things.  Now, God is also just.  So he gives these things what they rightly deserve.  Ok, we're going good here.  So we have beings created by God, to whom he is continually revealing himself, and he is dealing with them according to their actions, because that is what they deserve.  Now, God is also wise (striving after the best ends by use of the best means).

So we have this being, God, eternally existent.  Within his nature there is the need to create, love, and reveal himself.  So he makes a world, knowing from the beginning his exact purposes in creating that world.  Knowing how he will display his justice, love, mercy, wisdom, grace, righteousness, wrath, and this is where we run into a problem.  Part of God is an intense hatred and wrath against something unlike himself.  In fact, we know that God is jealous, meaning that he REQUIRES that all worship him, that all view him as the ultimate being.  And his wrath will be poured out on all who don't.  Which means that there must be some who do not worship and love him!

So we have this eternal being, creating for the purpose of lovingly revealing himself, knowing that this means that some will be created for destruction, in order to display his wrath and jealousy, which are good and righteous attributes.

Wow.

And do you know what my conclusion was?  God, I get it, I see it, like, I can't even describe to you, the reader, how clear all of this was in my eyes, but I said to God, I don't like it.  In fact, I realized that this is a piece of God that I don't love.  I don't love his wrath or his jealousy.  I don't!

And so my prayer is, Father, teach me to love you as you are.  Teach me to see your manifold wisdom in choosing some for life and others for death.  Teach me to see your love in you wrath and your mercy in your justice.  Teach me to see you for who you are, to be amazed, and to love and worship you, because I know you are worthy.  I don't want to just know the answers, I want to love the answers, and more than that, I want to love the one behind the answers.

Come Lord Jesus Come!  For then we will get to look into these things clearly, for then we will see you and know you even as we are seen and known.  For then the revelation will be clear and complete.  Reveal yourself to us, for we need you, we need to know you, you are our very life and breath, our very vision, our very sustenance, our very food.  Come Lord Jesus Come!

How do you go about understanding the attributes of God and how He does all that He does without contradicting Himself or changing?  Do you sometimes ignore certain attributes to make your view of God more "palatable"?  What attributes do you tend to emphasize or under-emphasize?

Wisdom in Destruction??

So, I've realized recently that I originally started this blog with the intention of exploring/discussing new things that God was teaching me about himself, or that I thought perhaps I was learning about God.  At times I have gotten off of this course, at times I have stated things a little more emphatically than they should be if I truly see myself on a path of learning, but I realized today that the very thing I've been struggling with recently, the very thing that I've been contemplating and questioning, I have not posted about at all.  So here goes.  This will not be a well constructed, beautifully worded, eloquent post, because this will be a post of questions, not answers.  These have been recent thoughts and struggles in my head.

Question raised by a friend - "How could God, if He is love, create the world knowing beforehand that people would go to Hell?  And not only foreknowing this, but actually predestining it, actually planning that it should be so?"
This question has in some ways plagued me in the past few months.  It has been addressed numerous times by many great thinkers and theologians.  I know the "answers" to it, but it still in some ways plagues me.  I have listened to John Piper on the topic, and have read Jonathan Edwards' "The Justice of God in the Damnation of Sinners".  I have considered Ephesians 3 which says "I became a servant of this gospel...to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things.  his intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.  In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence."  So we know that this mystery was kept hidden IN God for ages past.  I feel that one could contemplate that for a lifetime.  And we know that God created ALL things.... wow!  And this tells us His intent, His eternal purpose (what! Wow, this is God's ETERNAL purpose!!) that through the church (!) the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities [of the world.  Right? NO!] in the heavenly realms!!!

So, I've gotten thus far.  God has called the elect, the church, and in so doing his wisdom is displayed to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms.  And this was His eternal purpose and the reason as to why he created all things (both the elect and those who will perish).
Ok, so I know WHY God created the world with the intention of some going to Hell.  He did it to display his wisdom.  Ok, great, let's move on.  But wait a second.....how could he do that without compromising his love?  How can God be loving and also wise in this kind of way?  Here John Piper's words ring in my head.  It is because the most loving thing that God can do is to be God.  Our only satisfaction is in God, so he must reveal himself and be true to who he is, and since he is wise he MUST display this and it is the LOVING thing to do.  Ok, makes sense.  I get it....but I still struggle.

WHY?? HOW??? How could God devise such a plan?  Isn't there another way?  Couldn't he have shown his wisdom and love some other way?

Ok, enough for today.  More thoughts later.