Saturday, January 21, 2012

Life Perspective

I've noticed a shift recently in the way that I talk.  I find myself talking with much less excitement and passion, it seems I have a much less optimistic outlook on life, like when I talk about a subject I feel more dread than excitement, and I struggle to have things to say in conversation. It seems to me that I've been quieter and less contributive to thoughts and ideas as a creative member of a group, instead I often feel like an outsider in groups and like I do more to correct others ideas than to come up with my own.
It has been bothering me greatly because I've always thought of myself as a rather upbeat and energetic person, and I am in positions where creativity, originality, spontaneity, and energy are very important.
Then today, another current trend in the way I talk and think became apparent to me, and I wonder whether they may be related.  The "Good" side of my family got together for Christmas today (we actually had a white Christmas :) ) and so there were lots of questions like "How's the new job? How's married life? How's the apartment?" etc, etc... and I found myself talking about a lot of negative things.  I mean, I told stories of some good things and relayed the fact that everything has been amazing and things are going great, but beyond that I realized that most of the everyday type of stories i told were about problems, bad things that had happened to us, and annoying things that people do or had done.  And the thing is, I didn't have to tell those stories.  Yes, there have been problems and annoyances, but there's also been a lot of fun times and great things that have happened.
I've always been one to let the bad go and focus on the good, but here I was mostly telling the bad stories.  And I wonder if that's why I find less excitement and energy in my voice, because the things im talking about are depressing, not exciting.  I wonder if that's why I critique and piggy back on others ideas and struggle to make decisions, because im seeing the problems and drawbacks rather than the possibilities.
The other night, after my computer contracted a virus and me and Dana were both trying to maintain a positive outlook, I looked at the verse for the day on my phone which was:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
And it seemed fitting.  I think that maybe this is what I've been missing.  Perhaps I haven't been joyful always because I've been lacking continual prayer and thanksgiving.
So I am going to work on telling good stories; on not letting my life be defined by the things that go wrong but by the things that go right. It will take some conscious effort, but I think that overall it is worth it.  What about you?  Do you find that most of your stories are about struggle and hardship or do you find yourself telling stories of blessing and success?

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