We have an awesome Men's Ministry at our [old] church. (I have to start clarifying...because if everything goes as planned this coming Sunday will be our last Sunday there.) We typically have a monthly 4M (Men, Meat, Message, Movie) night with anywhere from 15-30 guys. I attended last night's 4M and the message was on the armor of God. They're having an Advance (because we don't want to be retreating in our Christian life, we should be advancing) in November where they will be talking about individual pieces of the armor of God, so last night was just a generic discussion of the armor, or more specifically of the Christian life as a battle (one of my favorite metaphors for the Christian life, by the way).
Pastor Jeff led the discussion with several questions and most of it was just "hoohaa, I've heard this before, now I actually have to work to try to figure out how to apply it....." type stuff (if you've been in the church for anything close to a long time you probably know what I mean). However, there was one question that really stuck out to me and grabbed me. Jeff asked "Where are you most vulnerable to Satan's attack? Where does he most often strike you and where do you most often fall?" This is a question I've heard before thought about many times, but he put the question so directly that it really hit me. I thought of it another way "What thing(s) in my life keep(s) me from obeying direct commands from God? What ways does Satan tempt me so that when I have a decision for right or for wrong I will choose wrong?" This is a great question to ask yourself as well. What is it in your life? (feel free to comment)
As soon as he asked, I knew my answer. My biggest area of weakness (and she knows this and I think would be comfortable with me sharing it) is Dana. And no, its not what you are all now thinking. Yes, sexual sin is a weakness for any man, especially an engaged one, but that's not my biggest struggle. My biggest struggle is when there's something that I think/know that God wants me to do but I also think/know (although in my mind I always KNOW it for a fact) that Dana would not be a fan. I don't have any specific examples, typically they're too embarrassing to share...because when it actually comes around to it and I admit it out loud I realize that Dana wouldn't have cared one way or another and I was actually being very childish. But it happens with enough regularity that I would consider it my weakest point. But its not just with Dana, its with others as well. I just have this tendency to fear what others think (or so I always thought). But as I tried to articulate this to the men last night, I realized that that's not what it is at all. Because the fact of the matter is, I don't really give a hoot about what others think of me. I mean, to a certain extent any one of us likes to be liked, but when people fawn over me or tell me how great I am, it actually irritates me, but when people correct me or say things they dislike about me it is actually invigorating to a certain extent (not in a weird type of "I like to be hated" way, but in the sense that I like when people see that I'm humanly imperfect).
So as I grasped for words last night to explain this, to make sense of why I am so vulnerable in this type of decision making, it all of a sudden hit me. It's not that I care what they think, its that I care what I think! Its that, in my mind, I have created my perceived role in the situation and I must live up to that role, otherwise I feel that in some way I have failed. And for the most part, this is actually a strength of mine! It causes me to be self-motivated, it actually helps me make difficult decisions that may offend people, it causes me to be relentless in pursuing my calling, but it creates a problem when my view of my role is not God's view of my role, or even worse, when I think that it is my job to be God! Ultimately, for me, it comes down to a pride thing. At times I think that I have to do XY and Z, not because I really do, but because in my mind I am the only one who can do it, or because in my mind I need to do it or I will be disappointed in myself. And now that I realize this, I feel like it is very freeing, very liberating. Because, before, if I felt like God had something for me to do that interfered with my idea of what I needed to be/do for Dana, I would cave to my preconceived view of my role instead of to God's desire. And in my mind I justified it by saying that this is what Dana needs. But now, when such a situation arises I can ask "Is this really what Dana needs, or is this what I think Dana needs but in reality God (and possibly even Dana) see the situation differently?"
I thank God for this question that was asked last night that helped me to realize these things. I thank God for our Ministry to Men at church that gave the platform for me to think about and voice these thoughts in my head. And I thank God for Dana and all of the rest of you that put up with me when I try to be God for you instead of submitting to His will and design for our relationships.
Now I would challenge you to ask yourself, "Where am I most vulnerable to Satan's attacks?"...
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
A Plunge into the Discussion
This is not my review of Rob Bell's book "Love Wins". For my review click here.
I must say that I heard many bad reports about Rob Bell's most recent book "Love Wins", which is why I got a copy of it. I am a firm believer in not bashing anything until you've read it, so I decided I would not make any comments, positive or negative, until I have completed the book.
Also, since I am working towards the pastorate I thought that this would be an important book to read as Bell is a very popular pastor and this book has made some waves in the Christian community. I think that it is important to be up-to-date on current issues and it just so happens that this is one of them. As such, I am reading this book as I do any book (Christian, secular, fiction, non-fiction), with the premise that the author is not perfect and will therefore say imperfect things and come to imperfect conclusions, but the author is also a thinking, rational human being and as such may say things that inspire honest thought and the pursuit of the truth (whether actually found in their words or by way of the questions it raises in my mind which I then seek to answer through Scripture and thereby come to a fuller understanding of God and His workings in the world). So I am reading "Love Wins" with two purposes in mind 1) to raise questions in my mind which send me back to Scripture in order to better understand who God is 2) to better understand the issues at hand in order to help others also walk these difficult paths of thought.
I must also say that I have struggled to understand and grasp the concept of the limited atonement for a long time. It was somewhere around 8 years ago that I asked Pastor Jeff if there were any Scriptural strains of Christian thought that embraced a universal atonement view (he actually referred me to some influential theologians, whom he quotes with some regularity, who do not hold to limited atonement. I have since forgotten who they were and he does not remember the conversation). As recently as this year I spent some time again struggling with the idea that God could create people knowing, and even willing, that they would spend eternity in torment. I understand that sin against a holy God deserves an eternal punishment, I don't have space here to explain why, but I understand that, however there is something that still doesn't sit with me that a holy God would therefore create people knowing they would sin. In any case, I say all of this to say that I give Rob Bell some props. He has guts. Whether he is right or wrong to publish his questions and contemplations, I'll leave that for others to discuss, but I can say that I have struggled through the same questions, have come out with anything but adequate answers, and am typically very cautious as to who I tell that to and how I say it.
So for what it's worth, right or wrong I have a certain level of respect for Rob Bell. Right or wrong I have a certain level of respect for "Love Wins" (on multiple levels). Right or wrong I think that it is healthy to ask questions, even when they stray from what is "religiously correct" to ask, so long as we return to Scripture as our guide.
I will finish the book "Love Wins" soon hopefully. I am about half way through it and already have some thoughts (negative AND positive) swimming around in my head, but as promised, I will not voice them until I have completed the book in its entirety, at which point I will most definitely post my review (as nonacademic and informal as it may be) of Rob Bell's book "Love Wins".
I must say that I heard many bad reports about Rob Bell's most recent book "Love Wins", which is why I got a copy of it. I am a firm believer in not bashing anything until you've read it, so I decided I would not make any comments, positive or negative, until I have completed the book.
Also, since I am working towards the pastorate I thought that this would be an important book to read as Bell is a very popular pastor and this book has made some waves in the Christian community. I think that it is important to be up-to-date on current issues and it just so happens that this is one of them. As such, I am reading this book as I do any book (Christian, secular, fiction, non-fiction), with the premise that the author is not perfect and will therefore say imperfect things and come to imperfect conclusions, but the author is also a thinking, rational human being and as such may say things that inspire honest thought and the pursuit of the truth (whether actually found in their words or by way of the questions it raises in my mind which I then seek to answer through Scripture and thereby come to a fuller understanding of God and His workings in the world). So I am reading "Love Wins" with two purposes in mind 1) to raise questions in my mind which send me back to Scripture in order to better understand who God is 2) to better understand the issues at hand in order to help others also walk these difficult paths of thought.
I must also say that I have struggled to understand and grasp the concept of the limited atonement for a long time. It was somewhere around 8 years ago that I asked Pastor Jeff if there were any Scriptural strains of Christian thought that embraced a universal atonement view (he actually referred me to some influential theologians, whom he quotes with some regularity, who do not hold to limited atonement. I have since forgotten who they were and he does not remember the conversation). As recently as this year I spent some time again struggling with the idea that God could create people knowing, and even willing, that they would spend eternity in torment. I understand that sin against a holy God deserves an eternal punishment, I don't have space here to explain why, but I understand that, however there is something that still doesn't sit with me that a holy God would therefore create people knowing they would sin. In any case, I say all of this to say that I give Rob Bell some props. He has guts. Whether he is right or wrong to publish his questions and contemplations, I'll leave that for others to discuss, but I can say that I have struggled through the same questions, have come out with anything but adequate answers, and am typically very cautious as to who I tell that to and how I say it.
So for what it's worth, right or wrong I have a certain level of respect for Rob Bell. Right or wrong I have a certain level of respect for "Love Wins" (on multiple levels). Right or wrong I think that it is healthy to ask questions, even when they stray from what is "religiously correct" to ask, so long as we return to Scripture as our guide.
I will finish the book "Love Wins" soon hopefully. I am about half way through it and already have some thoughts (negative AND positive) swimming around in my head, but as promised, I will not voice them until I have completed the book in its entirety, at which point I will most definitely post my review (as nonacademic and informal as it may be) of Rob Bell's book "Love Wins".
Thoughts on a Flower
Today I was thinking about flowers...yes flowers. (And yes, this may have something to do with the cold reminding me of an unfinished project which I really should start up again...) While thinking about flowers, something interesting occurred to me.
Flowers hold a sense of beauty in our minds. It doesn't matter the type of flower (except for maybe dandelions...) or the time or year, a flower always holds a certain level of beauty. We use them for decoration, cutting them and placing them around our houses; for cosmetic purposes, placing them in our hair or on our clothing (I only do this in private...); for perfume, taking their scents to make ourselves smell more beautiful.
But as beautiful as flowers are, they actually have a real purpose for their existence. And that purpose is fruit, reproduction, survival. The flower gives way to the fruit of the plant, to the seed, and therefore is the plant's way of propagating itself and thus ensuring survival of the species (do plants have species?... Hmmm). In other words, in nature, the flower isn't where it's at. The flower precedes the truly [beautiful?] important part of the plant, the seed.
How often do we find this in our lives? How often do we miss the truly important parts of our days and weeks because we are distracted by the beautiful things that will pass away? How often do we see only the temporal advantages of something but miss the truly eternal aspects of it that will only come through time?
How great is God to provide us with something as beautiful as a flower, even though it has no obvious (other than attracting bees and butterflies) purposes? God could have made flowers just as bland as many other parts of the landscape, but He made them different, He made the stand out? But that doesn't mean they're more important, in fact, in some ways they're less important than some of the more bland parts of the plant, such as the leaves, or the seeds, or even the roots!
I hope that I'm not simply a flower in the chain of human existence. I hope that I'm not beautiful and smell nice (well, I do hope I smell at least ok most of the time) but provide no eternal consequence, no beneficial development. I hope that I don't pass away without first planting seeds that will spring up into a harvest of life to those around me and those to come after me. I hope that God gives me the grace to be as efficient as a leaf, as beautiful as a flower, and as beneficial as a seed (sorry root, I couldn't think of anything nice to say about you....but I hope I have good roots as well).
The End.
Flowers hold a sense of beauty in our minds. It doesn't matter the type of flower (except for maybe dandelions...) or the time or year, a flower always holds a certain level of beauty. We use them for decoration, cutting them and placing them around our houses; for cosmetic purposes, placing them in our hair or on our clothing (I only do this in private...); for perfume, taking their scents to make ourselves smell more beautiful.
But as beautiful as flowers are, they actually have a real purpose for their existence. And that purpose is fruit, reproduction, survival. The flower gives way to the fruit of the plant, to the seed, and therefore is the plant's way of propagating itself and thus ensuring survival of the species (do plants have species?... Hmmm). In other words, in nature, the flower isn't where it's at. The flower precedes the truly [beautiful?] important part of the plant, the seed.
How often do we find this in our lives? How often do we miss the truly important parts of our days and weeks because we are distracted by the beautiful things that will pass away? How often do we see only the temporal advantages of something but miss the truly eternal aspects of it that will only come through time?
How great is God to provide us with something as beautiful as a flower, even though it has no obvious (other than attracting bees and butterflies) purposes? God could have made flowers just as bland as many other parts of the landscape, but He made them different, He made the stand out? But that doesn't mean they're more important, in fact, in some ways they're less important than some of the more bland parts of the plant, such as the leaves, or the seeds, or even the roots!
I hope that I'm not simply a flower in the chain of human existence. I hope that I'm not beautiful and smell nice (well, I do hope I smell at least ok most of the time) but provide no eternal consequence, no beneficial development. I hope that I don't pass away without first planting seeds that will spring up into a harvest of life to those around me and those to come after me. I hope that God gives me the grace to be as efficient as a leaf, as beautiful as a flower, and as beneficial as a seed (sorry root, I couldn't think of anything nice to say about you....but I hope I have good roots as well).
The End.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
A Question to my Readers
Last Fall I started keeping track of the books I was reading in a "Book List" tab (if you always read my posts through email or a Reader you may not even know this tab exists!) Since last October I have read 24 books (hopefully it will be 25 by the
end of September, that is my goal) and have faithfully documented when I
completed each book as well as writing a short,
informal review of the book. I am running into a dilemma, though, that seems like it would be best resolved by taking a vote from you all, my faithful readers (since you are the ones who will be affected by it).
The dilemma:
At this point my Book List has become quite long, and somewhat unmanageable. I could continue to add books to it as I read them, but it would become almost pointless (and useless to any of you who may be interested) because of its length. Also, my purpose in keeping track on that tab was so you could see what I was reading, but also so I could see what I was reading (and make sure I keep reading). By continuing to add to the same list it becomes harder and harder for me to monitor my reading, thus undermining the purposes of the tab. I was tempted to simplify the list, getting rid of my reviews, and simply listing the books I have read with the date I completed them, however then I would lose all of the reviews I have written which may be helpful to you as well as me in the future.
Possible solutions (this is what you're voting on):
A) I can continue on the way that I currently am doing it, simply adding books to the already existing list despite its difficulties. This isn't necessarily a "solution" per se, but it is an option. It doesn't interfere with the regular workings/posts of this blog but also allows preservation of the reviews I have written.
B) I could start a new list at the start of 2012, calling it "Current Book List" and then have another tab that is "Archived Book List" where I place all of my older reviews. This helps me to maintain accountability in my reading, allows you to see what I'm currently reading, and if you so desire allows you to see what I've read and what I thought of it.
C) I could start posting my book reviews as blog posts and with the tag "book review". This would allow you to search my blog for all previous book reviews, and then I could delete any old ones from the "Book List" tab as I so desired. Probably I would wipe my "Book List" every year and start fresh with a new list, but my record of previously read books would still remain as actual blog posts. This seems the least messy and the easiest to maintain, but I'm not sure how you all feel about having my book reviews appearing as posts...
Ok, now its time for you to GET YOUR VOTE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
The dilemma:
At this point my Book List has become quite long, and somewhat unmanageable. I could continue to add books to it as I read them, but it would become almost pointless (and useless to any of you who may be interested) because of its length. Also, my purpose in keeping track on that tab was so you could see what I was reading, but also so I could see what I was reading (and make sure I keep reading). By continuing to add to the same list it becomes harder and harder for me to monitor my reading, thus undermining the purposes of the tab. I was tempted to simplify the list, getting rid of my reviews, and simply listing the books I have read with the date I completed them, however then I would lose all of the reviews I have written which may be helpful to you as well as me in the future.
Possible solutions (this is what you're voting on):
A) I can continue on the way that I currently am doing it, simply adding books to the already existing list despite its difficulties. This isn't necessarily a "solution" per se, but it is an option. It doesn't interfere with the regular workings/posts of this blog but also allows preservation of the reviews I have written.
B) I could start a new list at the start of 2012, calling it "Current Book List" and then have another tab that is "Archived Book List" where I place all of my older reviews. This helps me to maintain accountability in my reading, allows you to see what I'm currently reading, and if you so desire allows you to see what I've read and what I thought of it.
C) I could start posting my book reviews as blog posts and with the tag "book review". This would allow you to search my blog for all previous book reviews, and then I could delete any old ones from the "Book List" tab as I so desired. Probably I would wipe my "Book List" every year and start fresh with a new list, but my record of previously read books would still remain as actual blog posts. This seems the least messy and the easiest to maintain, but I'm not sure how you all feel about having my book reviews appearing as posts...
Ok, now its time for you to GET YOUR VOTE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Book Review: "Triumphing over Sinful Fear" by John Flavel
Triumphing Over Sinful Fear (1682) by John Flavel This book is an excellent book that I would highly recommend
to any Christian. Flavel addresses the troublesome thoughts and
distractions that we all experience to some degree or another from
fear. Long before the volumes on stress were ever written, John Flavel
provided the Christian with a succinct guide to the problems of fears
and stresses, the causes of these fears, the effects of these fears, and
the remedies for these fears. This book is short and succinct but also
highly motivational and encouraging.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Overcoming the Distractions of Fear
I've been reading through John Flavel's 120 page book "Triumphing over Sinful Fear". It has been excellent so far; short and succinct but also insightful and motivating. He identifies three types of fear: natural fear - which everyone feels when confronted with danger; sinful fear - which comes from a lack of faith; and religious fear - which is the appropriate fear of God, not a fear of punishment but rather a desire to not offend or disappoint God because we recognize His great love for us.
He then identifies and describes the effects of sinful fear. The first effect is distraction of mind in religious duty (a term which encompasses all effects of grace: prayer, love, good works, communion with believers, etc...)
How often have I fallen into the distraction of mind that is the result of sinful fear! I fear what others will think of me; I fear what I will think of me; I fear my propensity for making wrong decisions; I fear my propensity to not make decisions. And slowly these fears become so burdensome to my mind and my heart that I can no longer pray, I no longer have peace, I forget the things that God has done for me in the past, I forget the things that He has for me in the future, I lose my ability to sense His peace and joy, I lose my ability to love.
How sad it is when a Christian allows the devil to conquer him through the distraction of fear. As we sit and analyze every possible way that a situation could go wrong God is waiting for us to step forward and see how He will make it right.
May we, you and I, step forward on the wings of faith. May we stop analyzing every decision for every possible pitfall but rather to step forward, trusting in the promises of God. May we take away our distractions by no longer focusing upon the problems, but rather praying for the solutions, with our minds set steadfastly upon God and His promises, our hearts sustained unwaveringly by the Holy Spirit, and our souls nourished continually, not by bread alone, but by the very words that proceed from the mouth of God.
He then identifies and describes the effects of sinful fear. The first effect is distraction of mind in religious duty (a term which encompasses all effects of grace: prayer, love, good works, communion with believers, etc...)
I do not doubt that it is one of the devil's great designs to keep us in continual fear and alarm, and to puzzle our heads and hearts with a thousand difficulties which will probably never come upon us (even if they do, they will never prove as fatal as we imagine). He does this to unfit us for present duties and to destroy our comfort in them. If he can distract our thoughts through fears and terrors, he gains three advantages to our unspeakable loss.
1) He severs us from the freedom and sweetness of communion with God in duties.
2) He severs the soul from the support and relief it should draw from God's promises.
3) He severs us from the comfort that is found in our past experiences and the relief that God's faithfulness and goodness imparted in former straits and dangers.
How often have I fallen into the distraction of mind that is the result of sinful fear! I fear what others will think of me; I fear what I will think of me; I fear my propensity for making wrong decisions; I fear my propensity to not make decisions. And slowly these fears become so burdensome to my mind and my heart that I can no longer pray, I no longer have peace, I forget the things that God has done for me in the past, I forget the things that He has for me in the future, I lose my ability to sense His peace and joy, I lose my ability to love.
How sad it is when a Christian allows the devil to conquer him through the distraction of fear. As we sit and analyze every possible way that a situation could go wrong God is waiting for us to step forward and see how He will make it right.
May we, you and I, step forward on the wings of faith. May we stop analyzing every decision for every possible pitfall but rather to step forward, trusting in the promises of God. May we take away our distractions by no longer focusing upon the problems, but rather praying for the solutions, with our minds set steadfastly upon God and His promises, our hearts sustained unwaveringly by the Holy Spirit, and our souls nourished continually, not by bread alone, but by the very words that proceed from the mouth of God.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Trusting Christ in Everyday Life
This is a good illustration by Francis Chan, I highly recommend it. I found it to be extremely convicting, especially as now is a time in our (mine and Dana's) life when we are looking ahead and trying to discern God's path for us. It is always tempting to take the easy and comfortable road, to just try to have that "normal life" that everyone strives for, instead of recognizing that sometimes God will call us to do radical and extreme, uncomfortable and difficult things.
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