Some Answers - not really...

So, I've disclosed a little bit of my internal dilemma based around understanding the full nature of who God is.  There was a lot more that went on internally in the past few weeks in trying to understand this, and I still don't understand it all.  But this is the point that I came to a couple of weeks ago.  I came to the point that I could see it, like, I understood it and put it all together (sort of).

I could see God's love in displaying himself to humanity and the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms.  Basically, God is good.  No, that is an understatement, God is amazing.  And so, the most loving thing for him to do is to reveal himself to those outside himself.  God is also creative, so he makes things.  So God makes things and reveals himself to those things.  Now, God is also just.  So he gives these things what they rightly deserve.  Ok, we're going good here.  So we have beings created by God, to whom he is continually revealing himself, and he is dealing with them according to their actions, because that is what they deserve.  Now, God is also wise (striving after the best ends by use of the best means).

So we have this being, God, eternally existent.  Within his nature there is the need to create, love, and reveal himself.  So he makes a world, knowing from the beginning his exact purposes in creating that world.  Knowing how he will display his justice, love, mercy, wisdom, grace, righteousness, wrath, and this is where we run into a problem.  Part of God is an intense hatred and wrath against something unlike himself.  In fact, we know that God is jealous, meaning that he REQUIRES that all worship him, that all view him as the ultimate being.  And his wrath will be poured out on all who don't.  Which means that there must be some who do not worship and love him!

So we have this eternal being, creating for the purpose of lovingly revealing himself, knowing that this means that some will be created for destruction, in order to display his wrath and jealousy, which are good and righteous attributes.

Wow.

And do you know what my conclusion was?  God, I get it, I see it, like, I can't even describe to you, the reader, how clear all of this was in my eyes, but I said to God, I don't like it.  In fact, I realized that this is a piece of God that I don't love.  I don't love his wrath or his jealousy.  I don't!

And so my prayer is, Father, teach me to love you as you are.  Teach me to see your manifold wisdom in choosing some for life and others for death.  Teach me to see your love in you wrath and your mercy in your justice.  Teach me to see you for who you are, to be amazed, and to love and worship you, because I know you are worthy.  I don't want to just know the answers, I want to love the answers, and more than that, I want to love the one behind the answers.

Come Lord Jesus Come!  For then we will get to look into these things clearly, for then we will see you and know you even as we are seen and known.  For then the revelation will be clear and complete.  Reveal yourself to us, for we need you, we need to know you, you are our very life and breath, our very vision, our very sustenance, our very food.  Come Lord Jesus Come!

How do you go about understanding the attributes of God and how He does all that He does without contradicting Himself or changing?  Do you sometimes ignore certain attributes to make your view of God more "palatable"?  What attributes do you tend to emphasize or under-emphasize?